Last night, hubby and I were watching the Graham Norton Show and we got talking about what our story would be if we were in the red chair.
If you don’t watch Graham Norton, the idea is this. You sit on a red chair and tell a short story. If it’s engaging and entertaining, you are allowed to finish your story. If it’s utter drivel or you’re just plain dull, you get unceremoniously ejected.
So in the name of entertainment, I’ve decided to tell you my story.
On a hot summer’s afternoon, I decided to take my dogs for a run. My route at the time went through open fields, and the footpath hugged the hedgerow. As I was heading home, I was approaching a gap in the hedge that I usually ran through to get to the river path and I heard a hissing from the hedgerow.
It wasn’t a quiet hissing, and it was definitely coming from something alive. Assuming it was a snake, I slowed to a walk as I’ve always been advised to do when there are snakes around. I made sure the dogs were on a tight lead and glanced to my left where the noise was coming from.
The grass was moving, which wasn’t much of a surprise. What shocked me was that about six foot of grass was swishing to and fro, and the shape I could see in the grass looked as thick as my leg. That was one hell of a snake.
Sod walking calmly and quietly, Usain Bolt would have struggled to have caught me as I sprinted off, dogs in tow towards the gap in the hedge. As I turned to go through the gap, to my horror I saw that the grass was moving again, right in front of me and I was going too fast to stop. Then more hissing, then out jumped…
Two baby badgers. Cue girly screams from me. They had a bit of a grumble at my dogs and carried on their merry way, as did I.
A few minutes later, I had calmed down slightly but was still a bit too caught up in the moment to be properly looking around me. So I didn’t see the buzzard sitting just above head height in the tree I was running towards.
It suddenly caught my eye at just about the same time it saw me coming. I screamed (again), frightening the life out of the buzzard. It flew off so suddenly that it dropped the dead rabbit it was eating, which landed right on top of me.
So what do you think, am I still in the chair? It hasn’t put me off the countryside, nothing would stop me from getting out there for a walk on a day like today.
So tell me, did I make the grade or was I ejected? And more importantly, what’s your story?