It’s unnatural and it must be stopped

I want to use this public forum to address the taboo subject of being a local radio DJ in public. This unnatural phenomenon is sweeping the country and it must be stopped.

There is a brigade of middle aged, chauvinistic men taking over our radios.

We can’t go anywhere without being subjected to their inappropriate behaviour.

I’m not offended by it, it just makes me uncomfortable. Actually, it makes me cringe.

If you are a racist, sexist, xenophobic bigot, voicing your opinion is something that should be done in a quiet, private room where nobody can hear you.

You wouldn’t catch national radio DJ’s spouting disrespectful tripe in public. They’ve got an image to maintain after all, so they know it’s not a good look and that entertaining conversation is just as good.

I blame the creepy buggers. You know the ones I mean.

It’s the ones with the stubble and the crap glasses. The ones who work on BBC Radio Solent, the ones who wear black t-shirts with sweat marks on, the ones who will never make it onto Radio 4 Women’s Hour.

They’re always pushing the boundaries and making us feel uncomfortable.

It was okay in the Stone Age when we knew no better, when people didn’t have their own ears.

But now I think a public area is not the place for it and reasonable human beings don’t like it.

I experienced this yesterday on a bus. There was this man on the bus, he was quite a slimy man and he had a manbag with him.

Anyway, he whips out his microphone and starts broadcasting on BBC Radio Solent. I didn’t know where to look, he’s putting me in an embarrassing situation.

My point is that fat, chavvy local radio DJs with moobs on buses just isn’t a good look. A classy, discreet local radio DJ that has something useful and entertaining to say is just fine.

I’ve never been one to just present one side of the argument so I do want to make it clear that opinion is divided on this matter.

A couple of hundred misogynists have signed a petition to say that it’s fine to be a twatmonkey any time you like and the rest of us should just put up with it.

Meanwhile, thousands of people have signed a petition to make it illegal to be a total cockwomble in public.

If you want to read the other side of the argument, the independent have covered it very fairly in their article here.

I would like to publicly apologise for expressing my hateful views in public and beg the Tots 100 to permit me to remain in their parent blogger index despite the fact that I have unnecessarily offended perfectly reasonable people all over the country.

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