Man’s best friend, our trusted companions. The best company anyone could have. We invite them into our homes, our sofas and even our beds. But these dogs have a confession.
I am an ambassador for Wagglepets who sort out everything my dogs need each month from food to treats to insurance (you can get 50% off your first box with code NATALIE50). When I chatted to the insurance company about my cover, they explained that I was covered for damage of up to £2 million. TWO MILLION POUNDS! How on earth can a dog do that much damage??
This means that I am now insured against Bubbles eating Roman Abramovic’s yacht, a Constable masterpiece or a country mansion. So that’s nice.
1. My dog Bubbles heads up the strong jaw demolition squad. In recent months she has eaten computer cables, shoes, swim fins, toy farmanimals, cuddly toys, remote controls, cushions, DVDs, clothes, duvets, dog beds, cutlery, sh*t from any animal and a didgeridoo.
2. She is joined by Teegan from Clearly Bex who found fame on the radio when she destroyed a Playstation remote in the morning, swiftly followed by three sofa cushions that afternoon.
3. Meanwhile over at LesBeMums, their pooch crawled right into the sofa and munched on it, complete with the electronics to make it recline. Kate and Sharon would have loved to have replaced it, but they’d just spent all their money on a certain reclining sofa. Yes, it was brand new.
4. Yoda from Days in Bed has skillfully polished off a belt, computer cables, swimming goggles and a watch.
And yet that’s not the worrying thing about Yoda. Don’t be fooled by the cute exterior, Yoda has taken demolition to the next level, taking the house down piece by piece. First the wallpaper then the beading from the laminate floor. What’s next Yoda?
5. Perhaps she will take lessons from Nicola’s dog at Love Little Poppins. She has moved from chewing the telephone wire onto something a bit more substantial – the wooden banister.
6. When it comes to wood, Digby from Sophie and Lilly also has a tale to tell.
Digby may look like he’s innocently munching on his toy sausages but in actual fact, it’s the wooden panel behind him that is more to his taste.
7. But it turns out chewing on wood is pretty tame really. Wafflemama‘s neighbour’s dog Luna has a taste for bricks and mortar. She is steadily eating her way through an outside wall that now bears a resemblance to an apple core.
8. This may seem rather surprising but apparently in the dog world, it’s not that unusual. Over at the London Mum the resident pooch ate right through a wall. Perhaps she was off to meet up with her soulmate Luna.
9. Or perhaps all the destruction is simply a way of getting to the ultimate prize; food. Katie at Mami to Five recalls her dog polishing of not one, not two… but fifteen full Easter eggs, including the foil.
10. Topped only by Lauren at Mummy is a Gadget Geek whose family dog polished off FIFTY slices of chocolate fudge cake. Lauren still feels a little ill thinking about the resulting mess that emerged from either end of said pooch.
11. If a dog can munch through all these things, it is hardly surprising that their own possessions are not immune. Tula from One Slice of Lemon sees her Taz toy as her arch enemy, “killing” it on a daily basis.
12. And as for Mackey from Tea Cake Make, he has a love-hate relationship with the PG tips monkey. He pines for it and cries when they are apart but if Monkey dares to cross Mackey… attack, attack, attack!
And so we return, full circle, to the destruction of shoes. Every puppy’s favourite pastime. But when it comes to shoes, it’s not just the dogs that should be feeling guilty right about now.
13. Mum in a Nutshell would like it to be known that this wasn’t her finest hour. But she has allowed to share with me the time that her dog urinated on a stranger’s leather boots.
The owner of the boots didn’t notice and Ali chose to keep her head down and make a sharp exit. So if ever you’ve come home and thought that there was a strange smell around your boots, perhaps it’s time for a new pair?
And just so the dogs don’t get all the bad press, Natalie from The Waitress told me what her pet had been up to. Robbie the rat from Take That (that’s his name, I didn’t make that up) showed that rats can have a naughty side too. He escaped from his cage into Natalie’s granddad’s lounge and ate all his electric cables.
To his credit, Granddad was relatively relaxed about the whole affair and didn’t seem to mind.
Do you have a destructive dog or a curious cat? I’d love to hear all about it, please do leave me a comment.