Breaking the Chains: What the Devil Card Teaches Us About Motherhood Pressure

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Motherhood can feel like a warm hug and a tightrope walk at the same time. There’s the joy of your child’s giggles, and then there’s the constant pressure to do everything just right. Feed them healthy meals, keep the house spotless, stay patient 24/7, bounce back after birth, and somehow “enjoy every moment.” Sound familiar?

That weight, that low-key anxiety or silent guilt, often goes unnamed. But in tarot, there’s a card that gives it shape: the Devil card. Surprisingly, this card has a lot to say about the invisible chains many mums wear every day. And it’s not all doom and gloom. It can actually be a doorway to freedom.

The Chains We Don’t See (Until We Do)

At first glance, the Devil card is a bit dramatic. Two figures stand chained beneath a looming horned figure. It’s easy to read it as “bad,” but tarot isn’t that simple. It’s about reflection, not judgment.

Those chains? They’re often symbolic of emotional habits, expectations, and thought patterns that keep us stuck. In motherhood, those chains might look like:

• Feeling guilty for needing time alone
  
• Believing your worth is tied to how selfless you are
  
• Comparing yourself to mums who seem to have it all together
  

By showing these chains, the Devil card doesn’t scold you. It gently points out that you’re not trapped. These are loose. You can slip them off.

The “Perfect Mum” Is a Myth

Let’s be real. Social media, magazines, parenting blogs. They all love the polished version of motherhood. You see matching outfits, healthy homemade snacks, curated playrooms, and mums who apparently never lose their temper.

But what you don’t see? The internal panic at 3 a.m., the moments of resentment, the identity shifts no one warned you about. These are not failures. They’re part of the real story.

The Devil card reminds us that illusions, like the illusion of perfect parenting, can keep us stuck. If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I be more like her?” or “Maybe I’m not doing enough,” that’s the spell of perfectionism talking. And it’s time to break it.

Guilt: The Most Common Chain

Mum guilt is sneaky. It shows up when you say no. When you leave your baby to nap and choose to nap too. When you miss a school event because of work. Or even when you don’t feel as happy as you think you should.

But guilt isn’t always a sign you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes, it’s just a symptom of carrying impossible expectations.

One of the most powerful things the Devil card teaches us is that guilt can be a false tether. You might feel bound to it, but you can question it. Does it come from your values or someone else’s rules? Is it based on truth or just years of silent pressure?

Identity After Baby: Who Am I Now?

Before kids, maybe you were the spontaneous one. The artist. The career woman. The one who could take off for the weekend without planning snacks and spare socks.

Motherhood doesn’t erase those parts of you, but it can blur them. That loss of identity is real, and the pressure to “bounce back” doesn’t help.

Here’s where tarot offers a different lens. The Devil card shows that when we forget our agency, our ability to choose, we can start to feel powerless. Reclaiming your identity isn’t selfish. It’s survival. It’s part of raising children who see a full, honest human in their mum.

So ask yourself. What’s something small that makes you feel like you again? Reading? Dancing? Sitting in silence without anyone touching you for five minutes? That counts. That matters.

Small Rituals to Break the Chains

Let’s be honest. You probably don’t have hours to sit with your journal or light sage and meditate for 40 minutes. That’s okay. Healing doesn’t have to be dramatic. Here are a few everyday things that can help:

• Name the pressure: When you feel guilty or overwhelmed, say it out loud or write it down. “I feel like I’m failing because I let my kid eat frozen waffles again.” Naming it helps deflate it.
  
• Question the story: Ask yourself, “Whose voice is this?” Is it yours or a leftover belief from somewhere else?
  
• Give yourself permission: To rest, to say no, to not answer that text, to be human.
  

These small steps create space. And space is where freedom begins.

Tarot as a Tool, Not a Fix

Pulling the Devil card doesn’t mean you’re doomed or bad. It means there’s something worth looking at. Something you might have outgrown. Something you’re ready to unchain.

Motherhood is full of beauty, but it’s also full of pressure. Some of it comes from outside. Some of it gets internalised over years. The Devil card brings it into view, so you can start to shift it. Slowly. Kindly. On your terms.

And if you ever pull that card and feel your stomach drop, take a breath. It’s not a curse. It’s a mirror. Sometimes, what we need most is the chance to see ourselves clearly, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.

The Takeaway: You’re Already Enough

The next time you’re beating yourself up for not being more patient, more organised, more everything, remember this. The chains only stay if you believe they’re locked.

The Devil card isn’t about punishment. It’s about awareness. It tells you that you can choose differently. For mums trying to juggle everything without losing themselves, that message is gold.

You don’t need to be a perfect mum. You just need to be you—tired, brave, messy, loving, learning. That’s enough.