I am a constant source of disappointment to my surprisingly sociable husband. Don’t worry, I’m not oversharing about a serious issue in our marriage. We simply have rather different ideas about friendship.
A reason, a season or a lifetime
There is a quote about people coming into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think on face value this is a bit callous. There doesn’t need to be a reason to be around someone, enjoying their company is enough.
And yet, there is some logic in it, when you take it to it’s simplest form. The majority of people won’t be around for a lifetime. And for me, that’s not what friendship is about.
Living in the moment
My husband would have me rounding up old friends like sheep every time I moan about being a social outcast. Yes, I do that a lot. Moaning about being a social outcast that is, not rounding up sheep.
The reality is, friendships come and go. Distance, time and social circles can all mean that we drift apart. But that doesn’t have to be permanent. There are a couple of people I’ve lost touch with over the years, only to strike up a friendship again at a later date. And at the right time, the friendship became stronger and more meaningful than ever.
Admittedly, I could have done better at keeping in touch over the years, we all could. But in the end, it didn’t matter.
Accepting friendship for what it is
My husband is a good friend. He keeps in touch with people he’s known for years, he picks up the phone and chats to them. Relatively regularly. Even if they don’t do the same for him. And because he does that, they keep in touch. They meet up and enjoy each other’s company. He comes home with a smile on his face and life goes on.
But for me, that’s not necessarily what friendship is about. Sometimes, people come storming into your life and you instantly get along. Support, companionship and help when it’s needed are all there within the shortest space of time. Because those are the people you’re supposed to be with right now.
And in time, they too will drift away, as they always do. But the longevity of a friendship doesn’t define it.
A friend is a friend, whether that’s for a reason, a season or a lifetime.