A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I want my daughters to know that they are enough. Which got me thinking. The girls are so young at the moment that they wouldn’t understand the sentiment of my post even if I read it to them. Realistically it will be a good few years before they can read and understand it. But will that be too late?
Being the example
Three and four year olds don’t learn by reading information. It’s arguable that they only take in a limited amount of what they’re told. They learn by doing things themselves. And they learn by example. When they’re teenagers, I hope that they will read my post and know that they are loved, just as they are. I hope that by then they will be happy, rounded individuals who love and respect themselves.
But in reality, expecting them to respect themselves without some guidance is asking too much. I tell them every day that I love them and I’m proud of them. And I hope my words give them confidence and they know they are loved. But children copy the behaviour they see around them and I know that my behaviour can often fall short.
I am enough
Because, through necessity, I have become someone who puts myself last. The children are my priority of course. I make sure they have everything they need. When they are ill, I drop everything. If they need me, I’m there and when they want something I get it for them – within reason of course.
And my husband is good at doing what makes him happy. He finds the time to learn the accordion, watch television, exercise and see his friends. He had an opportunity to go away for a couple of weeks to have intensive physiotherapy for an injury so he did it. Because I picked up the slack at home.
I try to find time for me as well, but it’s so tough. My next priority after the children is work. Let’s face it, we need the money. I also take the dogs out twice a day every day, almost without fail. And then, if I can, I exercise. I’ve started to do that first thing in the morning so it doesn’t disrupt what anybody else is doing, and every Wednesday evening I run with my friend.
But as for doing things I just enjoy? It’s rare. I take opportunities through the blog to go to amazing events. I went to Blog On last weekend too. But I always feel like I need to justify it. “It’s for the blog, I’m working.” And my husband isn’t much better. We always take a sly dig at each other when one of us does something fun or buys something for ourselves. And we shouldn’t. We deserve to treat ourselves, we all do.
Putting it right
I’ve become so aware of this that I’m determined to put it right. This weekend I’m at an amazing spa with my sister. Okay I’ll be reviewing it, but it’s still an experience that I’ll enjoy. I’ve started to treat myself to some new clothes and accessories too. I bought a fab dress for the blog conference I went to and picked up some new tops at the same time.
You might notice that there is someone missing from this post. Having said that my husband and I both need to treat ourselves, I haven’t got him a pair of sunglasses. Smart Buy Glasses have a great gift guide and I pretty much know which pair he’d go for. But my husband does treat himself to expensive sunglasses every now and then. And if I’m honest he has a bit of a history with them. But that’s a story for another day.